I Hate... Hula Hanks (Stamford, CT)

Ah Hula Hanks...

That crazy bar located in an alley behind all the decent Stamford bars that will eventually land on this blog as well...

The constant beat of bass maxed out to make you think people inside are there enjoying themselves...

The Caribbean theme that remains a novelty for all of 5 minutes...

Hula Hanks... I hate you.



If you're from this part of CT, this is probably a conversation you've had in the past year:

"Hey man, wanna go to Hula's tonight? We haven't been in a while."

"Hula's sucks bro/dude/man/guy. Everytime we go there it's the same thing and we hate it."

"Yea but this time might be different... maybe there will be some beautiful babies and their beautiful baby friends there..."

"Yea maybe, I guess it couldn't hurt to try."

5 minutes after entering the bar, you look back at this conversation and think to yourself "never again..."

At least until next year right? Do yourself a favor and don't get second-guess your instincts on this one folks.



Anyway, let me first say that any bar that requests a cover had better have a good band. Otherwise, what exactly are we paying for? The chance to get in and spend more money on drinks? I've budgeted $60 for the night... I'm going to spend it here one way or another - at least allow me to get drunk and attempt to enjoy this place. And no, I don't want a hopper pass - that place sucks just as much as here (You're next Thirsty Turtle).

Next, as a man, I know if the bartender is male, the attractive girl next to me at the bar is going to get served first. I'm well aware and would probably do the same thing. Seriously though, I think 20 minutes to wait for a drink is a little bit ridiculous, don't you? "Dude, you're probably not going to bang this chick tonight, so can I please have a Bud Light? I'll even come back and open it myself, I don't care, I'd just like a drink. No? Ok, let me know tomorrow if you took her home."

"Alright, Black Bear it is, I hope that place isn't packed tonight."

50 Steps Later...

"Ah Fuck. I'm going home. You win again, Stamford... You always do"

-Chase
Professional Hater